REVIEW: I Hate You – Don’t Leave me by Jerold J. Kreisman, MD and Hal Strauss

Originally published 2016-03-09: What is Borderline Personality Disorder, and does someone you know have it?


Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a little talked about, and even less understood, condition that affects many more people than are actually diagnosed with it by name.

By its very nature, BPD lies on the ‘borderline’ between other Axis I Diagnoses, such as ADHD, Substance-Related Disorders, Schizophrenia, Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, and Dissociative Identity Disorder (so-called “Multiple Personality Disorder”). This makes it difficult to correctly diagnose and treat.

My family is a wacky puzzle of personalities that all land somewhere on the spectrum of atypical neurological wiring, and I’ve always been interested in psychology, so it was only natural that I pick up a book or two on BPD along with those on ADHD, Autism, and the many other disorders I’ve been fascinated by and have read about over the years.

I Hate You – Don’t Leave Me by Jerold J. Kreisman, MD and Hal Straus is a best-selling book on understanding BPD from the inside and the outside.

cover of nonfiction borderline personality book I Hate You - Don't Leave Me by Kreisman and Strauss

Book Description

After more than two decades as the essential guide to Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), this new edition now reflects the most up- to-date research that has opened doors to the neurobiological, genetic, and developmental roots of the disorder as well as connections between BPD and substance abuse, sexual abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome, ADHD, and eating disorders.

The edition I bought has been recently revised and updated from the 1991 version to reflect the changing nature of what we now know about this particular disorder, treatment, and psychology in general. I found the updates to be necessary and enlightening.

My Rating

“I Hate You – Don’t Leave Me” is a brilliant title that sheds some light immediately on the often misunderstood facets of BPD. The disorder is characterized by nine criteria (of which five must be present for diagnosis), grouped into four areas:

  1. Unstable mood
  2. Impulsiveness
  3. Interpersonal psychopathology
  4. Perception and thought distortion

Most of us know or love someone with BPD, even if we or they are undiagnosed; borderline personalities occur in all socioeconomic circles, races, religions, sexualities, and genders. BPD knows no boundaries, and is considered to be caused by a combination of nature and nurture, as is explored in detail in this book.

I give I Hate You – Don’t Leave Me by Jerold J. Kreisman, MD and Hal Straus five of five stars for being enlightening, informative, and being kind as it was being truthful about a disorder that many might only recognize in the pages of this book.

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